Formula

I like legs. I like 'em naked and I like 'em wrapped in lingerie. I like 'em under a skirt or a dress or inside slacks or jeans. I like 'em most of all attached to someone wonderful. But damn, these all-the-rage super-tight pants that bunch at the back of the knee? Ugly and upsetting. Like being dipped in something molten and petrochemical, some 1950s idea of a 21st century spacesuit, the goo pooling in rubbery rings at the joints. They make even the skinniest look like they have chicken legs. And anybody with a real ass? Forget it. I'm talking guys here too. Serious fashion grotesquerie.