Wednesday, March 21, 2007

All the time...

As predicted, Doc Savage’s last column stirred up the hornets of desire, with women piping in to claim that they too were horny all the time. Right on, sisters, now what are your numbers? http://thestranger.com/savage/lustyladies

I like this correspondent’s take so much I’m quoting her: “The idea that we each have only one true soul mate with whom we will live in harmonious and uncomplicated bliss for all eternity is a crock of shit. If people would focus their attention on finding a partner who, while not perfect, shares most of their core values and at least a few of their personal interests, and then treat their partner’s sexual desires with respect and an eagerness to ensure their fulfillment in whatever way that works for that individual, we’d have many more happily coupled people in this world. We have to not only destroy the idea that good sex is some kind of automatic bonus dropped in your lap when you meet Mr. or Ms. Right, we also have to destroy the idea that there is only one particular Mr. or Ms. Right for each person in whom all relationship problems will magically vanish.”

I just can’t imagine being with someone and not wanting to fuck. All this hot talk reminds me of my last relationship: she lived out of town, so when we saw each other we usually had sex twice Friday night, with dinner in between, then Saturday morning, Saturday night, Sunday morning, Sunday afternoon, Sunday night, and Monday morning, give or take a boff or two. Ummm, nap sex. I was usually a wreck by Monday night, but that’s what Monday nights are for. After all, you can sleep when you’re dead. Sometimes these were quickies, sometimes playful fantasy scenarios, sometimes long and leisurely explorations. I have a pretty high sex drive. In a nicely complementary way, so did she. Other things were missing though. What a balancing act it is!

I had lunch with the Composer today. We met on 4th Avenue, in a café called Mule. I had a hot chocolate (the overly sweet variety preferred by most American venues) and a grilled cheese with sundried tomatoes on thin foccacio; it was too oily, needed more cheese, and was too skimpy all around. She had a glass of water and a pressed sandwich of cured meat and cheese, but it needed to be pressed more. So I’m not recommending the place for eats. But by gosh, if you have a Mac Icebook, you’ll feel right at home (I have one, but it was still weird; did they have a No Windows sticker on the window?) I used to live right around the corner from the place, the corner where a church has replaced the radical bookshop (o tempora, o mores!).

All in all, I thought it was a good reconnaissance. I will attempt to continue the reconnoitering.

7 comments:

Anonymous said...

sounds like someone's greedy...you had someone who complemented you but still wanted more. are you willing to give up one need of yours for another, since you seem to recognize you can't get everything from one person. how many women have you met that complemented you in that way? it's usually the #2 thing couples fight over.

Matthew said...

What's the number one thing?

catherine said...

Underpants. As in "did you go out of the house without your underpants... again..."

Matthew said...

People are still wearing underwear? Funny the things you learn on the innernets.

Anonymous said...

money is #1 (although i have heard other people say sex is #1 and money is #2 when i have quoted this factoid). what pisses me off about the savage piece is that he blames women and does not see men's contribution to this lack of sex in relationships predicament. men rarely seem to want to settle down with sexually adventuresome women--how can a woman you have tied up and fucked in the ass be the mother of your children? so they settle down with "respectable" women and get upset when they can't get a blow job. go figure. and women learn to suppress their sexual desires so they can be respected. everyone loses.

anyway, according to the post you liked so much, unless this last woman was a right-wing republican or a god-fearing fundamentalist, you may have hit the jackpot.

Matthew said...

Anonymous, do I know you and if not why not?

Sigh, the Virgin/Whore dicotomy is a killer, that's for sure. As is our moldy Puritanism, and all the repression that results in a billion dollar industry called pornography.

I say less blame, more game. Let your kink flag fly.

Anonymous said...

you would only be so lucky as to know me. don't think you would appreciate me if you did. seems what is really missing is you having an open heart--not something in another individual. until you resolve or at least learn to manage the conflict within yourself, you'll remain a bachelor.